Just Give Me A Reason....

Hello out there in blogland... I know its been a while.. (as usual....lol) But I have been around reading everyone blogs but just did not what to blog about. I have not been able to really focus on much since my husband and I decided to take some time apart. His choice not mine. It has really been hard for me and as he says for him as well. But I am not sure how hard it is when it is all up to him.

I will admit I was probably not the best wife in the world and there are many things I wish I could change and I am willing to do so but right now he just doesn't have it in him to try. We have been through this before but not to this extent. It has been a bit over two months and I am not sure how much longer I can handle this. I have good days and bad ones. Today is a bad one. I am trying to just work on me and let him work on himself. But I miss him. I miss being held, I miss being loved, I miss sleeping next to him. I miss it ALL!

He is all I have ever known since I was 19.  He has been my life since then. I don't know how to go from day to day with out him.. I know I can and I have but I am realizing I am not as strong as I thought I was.

I never thought at 36 I might have to start over. And I am terrified....I don't how to do anything. I have never been on my own until now and I am trying to deal but like I said I have good days and bad ones. I have a wonderful support system with my family and my friends but sometimes I just feel totally alone. I just want my husband back.

I am trying to back off him and not smother him with me pleading and that I will change, because it is not going to help. So I am just trying to make it day to day and become a better me. That is all I can do right now and hope that things work out.

Anyway if anyone is still reading this THANK YOU.

I'm sure this post is really all over the place but I needed to get it all out of my head...


  1. I am "here" and I am sending you much virtual love. My heart aches for you and please know I am here, listening and willing to listen. Hugs.

  2. You're strong than what you think you are. Hang in there & pray. God never gives you more than you can handle. ""hugs""

  3. Ugh- that is the worst! I have to tell you- my ex decided on a break and then I ended up even happier than him. And it happened the same way for my mom. I hope things work out the way you want them to, but just try to remember to focus on yourself too!

  4. I'm sorry that you are going through this tough time. The only advice I can offer you is to lead by example and work on improving the things that you think will improve your relationship. You can never force someone to stay/come back/etc, but by continuing to work on yourself you can make it easier for him to make that decision on his own. Good luck and I wish you the best :)


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