Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Just Give Me A Reason....

Hello out there in blogland... I know its been a while.. (as usual....lol) But I have been around reading everyone blogs but just did not what to blog about. I have not been able to really focus on much since my husband and I decided to take some time apart. His choice not mine. It has really been hard for me and as he says for him as well. But I am not sure how hard it is when it is all up to him.

I will admit I was probably not the best wife in the world and there are many things I wish I could change and I am willing to do so but right now he just doesn't have it in him to try. We have been through this before but not to this extent. It has been a bit over two months and I am not sure how much longer I can handle this. I have good days and bad ones. Today is a bad one. I am trying to just work on me and let him work on himself. But I miss him. I miss being held, I miss being loved, I miss sleeping next to him. I miss it ALL!

He is all I have ever known since I was 19.  He has been my life since then. I don't know how to go from day to day with out him.. I know I can and I have but I am realizing I am not as strong as I thought I was.

I never thought at 36 I might have to start over. And I am terrified....I don't how to do anything. I have never been on my own until now and I am trying to deal but like I said I have good days and bad ones. I have a wonderful support system with my family and my friends but sometimes I just feel totally alone. I just want my husband back.

I am trying to back off him and not smother him with me pleading and that I will change, because it is not going to help. So I am just trying to make it day to day and become a better me. That is all I can do right now and hope that things work out.

Anyway if anyone is still reading this THANK YOU.

I'm sure this post is really all over the place but I needed to get it all out of my head...

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Liebster Award

Hi everyone!!!! I was nominated for a Liebster award by Stephanie @ thenerdyorganizer. So here are my answers!! Thanks Stephanie!!!

Okay. Here are the rules. When you get the award, you have to...
1. Link the person who nominated you.
2. Share 11 random facts about yourself.
3. Answer the 10 Liebster questions given by the person who nominated you.
4. Pick 10 bloggers with under 200 followers to be nominated for the award.
5. Come up with 10 questions for your nominees to answer.
6. Notify your nominees by commenting on their blogs.

11 Random Facts about me: 

1~ I can recite all the words to the movie Tombstone. 
2~ I am constantly watching the ID channel. LOVE true crime!!
3~ I am often very critical of myself. I don't think that much of myself. But I am working on that. 
4~ I cry very easily. 
5~ I love trying new makeup. 
6~ I am afraid of throwing up. 
7~ My favorite TV show of all time is Friends 
8~ My favorite Cartoon Character is Eeyore, the donkey from Winnie the Pooh
9~ I met my husband online. 
10~ I love anything Wine related (just not red wine)
11~ I have always wanted a child but now I think that will never happen. 

Here are the questions I was asked. 
1) If you were stranded on a desert island, what one item would you want to have with you? A Cell Phone
2) How old were your parents when you were born? My Mom was 26 and my Dad was 29
3) What is your favorite gift you've ever received? My Engagement Ring on Christmas
4) What TV show do you never miss? WOW this is hard.... I DVR most shows because of my crazy schedule. 
5) What time is your bedtime? I am usually not asleep until at least 1130 or 12 every night
6) Do you keep a journal or diary? Just my blog, but with everything going on right now I have not been writing. I am going to change that soon. 
7) If you could spend one day in heaven with any one person, whom would it be (excluding Jesus because everybody answers that)? My grandfather, I was 9 when he passed and I would love to see him again. 
8) Facebook or Google+? Facebook
9) What is your blog post schedule? When I have something to write about. haha
10) If you could offer a newborn one piece of advice, what would it be? Enjoy your new life!

I am going to open my questions up to whoever wants to answer.. 

1. What is one piece of advice you have for someone about to get Married? 
2. What is one movie you could watch for the rest of your life? 
3. If you could see one Band in concert, who would it be? 
4. What TV series would you recommend? 
5. If you had all the money in the world what would you do? 
6. Where would you travel if you could drop everything and leave tomorrow? 
7. Who is your celebrity crush? 
8. What store would you max out your credit card at? 
9. If you could talk to your 18 year old self what would you say? 
10. What is your favorite saying? 

If you decide to answer this please let me know! I'd love to read them! 

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Checking in...

I am still here! Just trying to make it day by day.... I am still reading all of my favorite blogs but just have not had the want to write a post yet. It will come soon... I am just not ready yet. So bear with me...