Friday, October 15, 2010

I do....Wait....No I Don't.....




I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part..... Or until I decide I don't want to be married anymore....

I believe in marriage and what it stands for. I believe you should try to work out the issues you have between your husband or wife. But I also believe that if one partner is not willing to work then you should move on.

I have several friends that have either had to make the choice to end their marriages or had the choice made for them. Two of these friends had the same issue, their husbands were workaholics and neither husband was willing to work on their relationships. But one made the decision and the other had it made for her. Neither situation was easy I am sure.

She is about to be divorced in a few weeks...I am really sad about this. Yes I know it doesn't have anything to do with me but I really wanted them to be together forever. They in my eyes were perfect. Or so I thought... I really want to go and punch him and tell him what a mistake he is making, because he totally is, but I really don't think it would do any good....

The other friend however has been divorced for 8 years. And here are some of her thoughts on her marriage....

Looking back, I am SO glad I did it! I have no regrets or bad feelings about it because I got it out of the way at an early age and learned from my mistake (yes, it was still a bad decision). My next marriage (if it ever happens) will be forever. Which leads me to my thoughts on marriage today...

1. Everyone is entitled to a failed first attempt. It's like practice. The 2nd one should last forever. This doesn't mean that the first one won't last forever, but I'm just saying... the 2nd one should be forever at that point. Lessons learned.
2. The divorce rate is so high at this point, I would think that people would be smart enough to do a pre-nuptual agreement.
3. I believe a successful marriage is based on 100% honesty, and complete full disclosure (open communication at all times), and of course TRUE LOVE!
4. The later in life you wait to get married (30's, 40's, etc.), I think the success rate will be much higher (whether it's the first or second attempt).
5. When you marry someone, you should have gotten everything out of your system! This was a mistake I made getting married so young... and THANK GOD I had the last eight years to enjoy so many opportunities and experiences I would have NEVER had if I was still with that idiot.
6. Don't have kids until you have a life plan together... years together under your belt, financial stability, and understand that this child will NOT be the glue that holds together your relationship. Kids are NOT a reason to stay together in a bad relationship. Chose your child's mother/father carefully... it's your choice, not theirs.
7. If the marriage has problems, FIX THEM EARLY! Go to therapy together, and individually. You took a vow "for better or for worse", so honor it (for God's sake).
8. When you've come to the realization that you picked the wrong person on your first attempt (like I did), GET THE HELL OUT OF IT! Before you waste time, and wind up cheating on your spouse, or having kids (or more kids), cut your losses and move on!


Both of these women are heroes to me. They are the strongest people I know. I could not have gone through it and been the same after. Well I probably could have but it would have taken me along time to get over it.

I'm glad have other friends who marriages give me faith that love does exist in marriage....While the others show me that love sometimes might not be all there is...
But then I do have to remember that life is not always a fairy tale.....

Monday, October 11, 2010

Just the way you are.....


Yesterday was my Sorority sister Bettiann's wedding. It was a lovely day and an even better evening. She was gorgeous and everything was breath taking.... and as I watched her and her new husband she looked so happy and like it was just them in the world, no one else around. It started me thinking about my wedding day....

That day I was the happiest I think I had ever been.. I had married my soul mate and the day went off with only minor issues... I have often thought about what I could have done different or compared it to others, only to make myself feel sad that it was not as beautiful or whatever. I have this tendency to let what other people do or think shape who I am or think I should be.

Every time I looked at them dancing I couldn't help myself from wishing I could have my day all over again. I want to be that happy again. But I have alot of working on my self before I can be that happy again. So I have decided for the millionth time to get off my ass and start working on me. Not for any one else.....

But for me.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Conifidence Coaching 101: For the ladies!

This is a repost from my awesome sorority sister Nic... Thought I'd share....



It baffles me when I see my girlfriends lacking confidence, always being self-critical; thinking they're fat, and obsessing about their looks. Get a clue, girlfriends, you are beautiful on the inside and that's what counts! Sure, looking good on the outside is an art, but if you don't radiate confidence from within, what's the point?

I can just hear you now... "But Nicole, it's easy for you to say because you're gorgeous!". Oh girls, you're so sweet. Really. Cut it out. Ok, just kidding... keep those compliments flowing. LOL! The truth is, as many of you remember, there was a time when my body was a hot mess. I was morbidly obese, and felt like shit about myself (largely due to the fact that I was in bad relationships and miserable). However, through it all, I always kept a positive outlook and knew that I was a great person and had a beautiful soul. I knew that people loved me, regardless of what I looked like on the outside!

Confidence really does start with loving yourself and believing that you are a wonderful person on the inside. I also think that positive daily affirmations go a long way. "Nic, what the hell are you talking about?" You know, telling yourself positive things (whether out loud, or in your head). I teach this in my class, so take notes... positive affirmations are things like, "I have great hair", and "My lip gloss looks awesome", and "I'm a great listener", and "Everyone loves my jokes"...etc. Keep telling yourself all of the wonderful qualities you have, both inside and out. When you do this, you will focus less on the physical things that you tend to get overly critical about (your weight, your boobs, your teeth, etc.)... all fixable, by the way, so don't be discouraged.

Confident women stand up straight, look people in the eyes, and never need to talk about themselves because other people notice their redeeming qualities. Confident women also speak well, and command the attention and respect of others. Now that is the hard part to teach, so I'll save that for later. Just remember that you are beautiful on the inside (unless you're really just a bitch, and everyone hates your guts... in which case, you're certainly not a friend of mine).

So girls, hopefully you will look inside yourself today and remember all of your own great attributes. Maybe this will help you to stand a little taller, walk down the hall strutting your stuff, or stop and smile at yourself in the rear view mirror when you're stopped at a red light (my personal favorite).

Make me proud. Channel your inner diva, bitches!

Friday, June 4, 2010

New Revelations


Ok, after reading a very dead on post from my awesome sorority sister Nicole about confidence and loving yourself.. I realized she was right. I have never been at all confident about myself. Unfortunately that is not something I will learn anytime soon, although I will try.

So on that note... I have decided for the billionth time to lose weight. I am not just doing it for me, I am doing it because I really want to get pregnant. I know I could be where I am now but I want to be at least under 200 before I even start trying. I am not getting younger and I am getting worried I may be running out of time....

So, I am not even sure how to start. Yes I know what you are thinking... eat better and exercise. I know that. But I can't stay motivated. I start out good but by like 9am it is all over. I have been a member of Olympus Gym since Feb of last year.. Have I been??? Nope. I have the Wii fit with several games. Have if used it??? Maybe once... I have all the tools just to lazy to use them. I need the pride in myself to get off my ass and do something....ANYTHING.....

Hmmm well... that is all for now I guess........

By the way check out Nic's Blog..... http://np1021.blogspot.com

Lisa

Thursday, May 20, 2010

My Many Men.......


I had a thought while sitting here watching the Habs/Flyers Game. Well it is on in the background..Steve is watching it. I always talk about all my fav men, (actors,sports figures and whoever else famous I might like) I wonder how many there really are... Well here is my list (in no particular order....) of as i call them Sexy Bitches....


~ Chad Durbin - Bullpen pitcher for the Phillies - I have an obsession with him. He is often my screen saver on any computer I may use. Steve has even told him that I want to have his kids, which by the way I have never said, I wouldn't mind tho....

~ Chris Wolstenholme the bassist for my new favorite band Muse. He is another one that is often my screen saver. I am totally obsessed with him. I have seen them 4 times in concert (have 2 more shows lined up)and each time when the concert is over I am horse from screaming for him. If you have seen the youtube video of the Philly Muse show we recorded you can hear me scream for him... lol

~Martin Brodeur - (Goalie for the New Jersey Devils) - He is by far my original sexy bitch how ever he was not the first one I labled as such. I have loved him for like forever.

~ Aaron Rowand - he is the original Sexy Bitch. He used to be the centerfielder for the Phillies now he plays for the San Francisco Giants. I loved him and still do when I get to see him.

The rest I am just going to list -- this will take forever if I don't.......

~ Justin Chambers (Alex on Greys Anatomy)
~ Larry Mullen Jr (drummer for U2)
~ David Wright (Third Basemen for the Mets)
~ Billy Wagner (Bullpen pitcher for the Braves)
~ Adam Vinatieri (Kicker for the Indianapolis Colts)
~ Tom Brady
~ David Beckham
~ Brady Anderson (Circa the 90's definitely not now)

Hahahaha I am sure there is more but these I think are the tops ones

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Hello Everyone.

Well since everyone is doing a blog, I figured I would too. Not really sure where to start... I guess I will share a little about me.

~I am 32 and have been married to my husband Steve for 7 years (as of next monday).

~We have a shih tzu Gracie who we love dearly. I fell in love with her the minute I saw her at a pet adoption at Petsmart. It broke my heart when I went to fill out the paperwork to adopt her and found out someone had beat me to it. But lucky for me that family did not work out and I got to adopt my best friend. I sometimes think I love her more than my husband... =)

~I am a 911 dispatcher and have been for 9 years. I would love to tell you where but due to privacy issues at my job I can't. Lets just say it is a big county in NOVA.

~I love my family and friends and spending time with all of them. But I wish I had a close friend I could tell anything to and be there for them anytime they would need me. I try to be a good friend as long as you are one back. Sometimes I may not come across as that but I will fight for any of my friends if they needed it.

~I love to read, watch reality shows (don't judge me, lol), scrapbook, and to dance. When I was younger I used to dance everyday in my room. I guess becoming an adult I ran out of time. I'd like to start again.


So that is me in a nutshell...

Bye for now....